Unique!

We are all unique – basically.

Not sure how this topic got started in my head. I guess with the rants on societal expectation and that society assumes that we are all the same just because we belong to a certain group. Oh, you’re a woman – here’s what we expect you to like/dislike and how we want you to behave. Next! This applies to all “groups” of course. Wouldn’t want to leave anybody out.

Why do we feel the need to put people in categories? Why do we need to put labels on people? Why does everything have to be black and white. What about all the colors in between? We can argue whether it’s just shades of gray between black and white or whether all colors are in there. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that there is SOMETHING in between. Life is non-binary. There’re hardly ever only two options. We’re not computers made up of 1s and 0s.

So, yesterday morning I went to the grocery store. I bought some peppers – yellow ones. I didn’t buy the regular kind. I bought the ÜNIQUE version. What that means is that these are bell peppers that do not conform to the supermarket’s standards of size and shape. Even though we pay by weight, these cannot be sold with the regular ones. What you do is that you weigh them and punch in a special number for ÜNIQUE peppers, and you pay a fraction of the regular price. My local store is pretty small, but the have ÜNIQUE peppers (all colors), potatoes and carrots. There might be more, but these I know for sure.

ÜNIQUE bell peppers - Coop

It’s not just us that are judged by our appearance, size, color, shape etc. It’s also the food we eat. It might be a bit exaggerated to say that I saved these two peppers from being thrown away, but it does kind of feel like it. I think they are perfect in their uniqueness. Perfect for a summer salad. Or on pizza. Or to eat as a snack. I equally hate that we have those standards that get food thrown away and like that we’re now fighting food waste this way. More could be done of course. As always.

We’re all unique

If there is a label for people that I would wholeheartedly support, it would be UNIQUE. No two individuals are the same. How wonderful! The only thing we all have in common is that we are born and we die. The rest is unique. There are people we have more in common with than others, there are people we feel a stronger connection to – of course there are. We are all looking for these connections and for groups to belong to. I guess that’s where the labels come in. We want to hang out with people from similar backgrounds who share our interests. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that. We might just overlook the uniqueness of other people who do not fit into those stereotypical boxes and have interests that are a bit all over the place.

Living in 2023 focusing on the uniqueness of every single person is not easy. There’s a group or label for everything. And we can get caught up in seeing our own world view as the only one that counts, and everybody should live this way. I mean it’s clear that the blue M&Ms are the best. Yes, I know that one came out of left field but it’s non-negotiable! There will be a separate newsletter on this topic. Not blue M&Ms per se, but how we try to force our preferences onto others. Personally, I’m happy if people don’t like blue M&Ms – more for me.

Let me leave you with a gummy bear example. It’s a really simple one. These are your standard Haribo Goldbären. There are six flavors which correspond to the six colors. I just looked up the flavors for you. From left to right we have pineapple, lemon, orange, strawberry, raspberry, and apple. They all look the same in shape and size, their flavor is what separates them.

Haribo Goldbären - all flavors

Now, a bit of math for you. There are 6! possibilities of putting these gummy bears into our respective order of preference. Is mine better than yours? Nope, mine is what works for me. Mine is what I’ve concluded I like based on my life so far. Can this change over time? Of course. It might change with the next bag. It might change now that I know what the actual flavors are. I didn’t think I liked raspberry… There’re so many reasons we like different things or people. Our choices are as unique as we are. Just consider the 720 different orders of preference that are possible with only six gummy bears. And these are “only” gummy bears – no offence to the delicious six.

Apply this to every decision we make in our lives, and you will see that no two lives are exactly the same. This makes us and each of our lives unique. It also means that certain decisions might suddenly lead us to leave the life we knew and loved behind. It’s how people can grow apart. It’s why friends can come and go. It might be a reason we change careers, take up a new hobby, finally get rid of clutter and junk to make room for something new etc. If we recognize our uniqueness, we also recognize that every single decision we make can change the course of our life. Isn’t that exciting? And scary! And beautiful.

Let’s celebrate being UNIQUE and live our lives in a way that reflects this. We all bring something unique to the table. Every single one of us! Remember that.