You are not alone!
So many people suffer in silence – let’s change that!
**Disclaimer: I’m not a mental health professional, please do seek professional help if you’re struggling**
Also, I am randomly combining contents from three or four different newsletters I’ve been working on. I got inspired by a friend to put this out there today. So, I might repost some of it in separate newsletters later on. I’ve also created a new section on Substack where I will post mental health related newsletters. I still have to figure out the logistics on that though.
You are not alone!
I grew up in an environment where mental health or even feelings in general was not something you’d talk about. Steep learning curve later on, I can tell you. There are so many people who suffer in silence, because not being okay is not an option and you certainly can’t let people see you’re struggling. What I found was that the more I talked about trauma and mental health with friends, acquaintances, or colleagues the more I got that feeling of “I’m not alone”. And “wow, I was not expecting that, they are always so happy”. Those were eye-opening moments. Also, a walk around the block with a colleague at lunchtime could potentially save a life. Remember that.
Can we please normalize not being “fine” all the time?
I was under the impression that I had to be “fine” all the time. Especially when I lived in the US. I got asked about 100x a day “Hi, how are you today?”. It’s really just a rhetorical question or not even a question more of a greeting. And you don’t react honestly. The answer is usually “fine, how are you?”. You also say this when all you want to do is go lie down and have a cry.
Try this next time you’re feeling a bit down and a friend or colleague asks you how you are doing: “Actually, not doing great today, but I’m hanging in there” or any variation of it that might work for you. You might be surprised. I certainly was when a cup of tea and chocolates suddenly appeared on my desk and people took a bit more time when they came in to ask a question. And you know what, it made my day better. The next day I was honestly fine again. It doesn’t take much – usually.
Mental health days
I know they exist in certain countries. Could we please introduce them everywhere? I realize that I write this in a very privileged country and that it might not be possible where you are. In Switzerland it would be possible. We’ve all had days when we KNEW that staying home that day and doing something for our mental health would be the best thing we could do – and then we went to work. Whatever was bugging us didn’t just magically go away, but we might just get the flu or something else later on. Or spend our entire weekend in bed eating chocolates and ice cream. Having the opportunity to take a mental health day on such a day would be so beneficial to everyone.
Let’s say we give employees 3 or 4 such days a year. Just imagine it. I have a feeling that sick days would go down considerably and also; I don’t think people would abuse the system. Yes, there are always those that will, but they are also the ones that call in “fake sick” when they don’t feel like working. Doesn’t make any difference really.
So many companies pride themselves on having in house health officers, but do they all really take mental health seriously as well? In my experience it really depends on where you work. I’m talking about your standard office job here. There are of course many other jobs – like anything in health care – where they are so understaffed that this would be difficult to pull off. Then again, you might have fewer people leaving the profession altogether if you paid more attention to everybody’s health, especially their mental health.
Remember to do something fun today
Let’s stop focusing on how we’re all basically trying to survive and not kill anybody on a daily basis. A very helpful piece of advice I got was to remember to do something fun every day. My reaction was “I do fun stuff!”. Then I thought about it. Did I really do something fun every day? I realized that I didn’t. I did things that I enjoyed, but FUN – like really giggling like a little kid and totally silly fun? Nope, I did not. And it’s also not as easy as it sounds. But as a friend of mine likes to say “silliness is important”. Give it a try! Not taking yourself too seriously on social media is a good way to start having a giggle a day.
I would really love to hear about people’s experiences. Would also love for people to share any resources they find useful or just anything really. Feel free to reach out privately too. We’re all in this thing called “life” together.